Sunday, October 15, 2006

Cat said...

Violet.... I have been trying to "change" my attraction to children since I was a teenager. I have been to 4 counsellors and am still in therapy. I don't beleive it is ever OK to be sexual with a child (even though I'm attracted). I don't have any trouble controlling myself around children. The children in my life I care about very much and I protect them from sexual preditors.

I don't think, and nor does my counsellor (after 35 years of working with guys who want to change) that change of orientation is possible. I do believe that self-control is very accievable. I am no different from a straight man in that respect. A straight man doesn't act on every desire he has for women... I don't act on the desires I have for children.

Counselling has taught me how to mangage my desires better. I don't beleive that it can change them. If it could... if there was a magic change pill. I'd take it in an instant.

Llort... if the pedo's you've studdied are the ones who've been arrested for crimes against children then you only have looked at a small section of the Pedophile community. There are uncounted numbers of pedos who don't get caught doing anything criminal with kids... BECAUSE WE DON'T DO ANYTHING CRIMINAL WITH KIDS.



You are right Cat. Like a drug addict or a alcoholic, the pedophile is addicted to lusting after children.
I am glad that your seeking counseling. This is a good post by someone who is willing to to change their thoughts. Someone who is able to see through the blinders of lust, and able to stand against temptation hopefully.

There is a medication I read about Cat, maybe your therapist knows about, and you could try it?

A comment left from Dimitri

dimiti said...

Your arguments have an assumptive attitude. They connect things that demonstrate difference as though the connection were direct and obvious. Take the assumption that a child who experiences sexual contact is molested, or that there are consequences. You assume the existence of consequences without giving supporting logic or information. The addition of some type of support to these assumptions to validate their existence would add credibility to your statements as arguments as opposed to simple rantings. Example, you say that there are consequences to a child being molested, then I say that there are no consequences to a child being molested (disregarding the definition of the term molest). You see how my statement effectively counters yours, yet provides no evidence? Thats because it mirrors your statement. It is a simple a = b scenario, and can be countered on the same grounds. Baseless claims, and insults, do not provide very persuasive reasoning.

This is I feel the crucial error in the way pedophilia is commonly perceived. It lies in the inability to draw lines, for to the average person all areas of sexual contact for children must be harmful. Taking into account the infinite variation we see in children with regards to their environment, biological capacity as far as brain development, and even a person's individual talents, the previous statement seems a little incredible. This demonstrates the second error, a lack of thought - for devoting even a minute amount of attention to the intricacies of this subject reveals many interesting quesions. Why is something that we consider joyous, given the bounds of consent, healthy, and infinitely varied, considered dangerous, traumatizing, and grossly narrow to a child? (keeping in mind the very minute difference as far as age that separates an adult from a child and that is - one day) To categorize a molester who rapes their victim, causing scarring, not only of the flesh, but of the heart, with a person who engages in a willing relationship, one that may go on for the rest of their lives, and loves that person, and is loved back, seems inaccurate at best, even to the most unscrutinizing individual. I would say that the difference between a pedophile and molester is the same difference between a rapist and lover. However, this difference is not ludicrous - why?


How many victims does the average pedophile have in a lifetime?

I read about one pedophile... who had over 1,000 victims he admitted it.

Now you would have me believe dimitri that you would love the child forever but I know
that is NOT true! Once the child is out of your age of attraction you are done with him and already found a replacement. You lust after children because they are children.

When they are out of your AOA, the victim is left...abandoned....rejected, feeling dirty and ashamed. Often Children who were sexually molested become sex or drug addicts, dying of AIDs, hepatitis, or even become pedophiles themselves.

Because victims never have a "normal life", -- too many die too young, too many try to commit suicide-- sex with minors will never be "ok". There is plently of evidence that supports what I am saying to you dimitri. Too often the child will lose their self esteem, and feel worthless because that victim loved their abuser --who abandoned them for someone else. These feelings are not good for a child. Feelings like these belong in the adult world where one lover is left for another, where one can make that choice fully as an adult to engage in a relationship. A child cannot make that decision!

A pedophile spends many hours a day pondering on his lust for children. Swiftly controlling himself deceitfully in front of others, so that he can get closer to children.

A pedophile needs control over their victim. Often times the telling the child lies about
their parents, or controlling children by shameful remarks. Forcing the child to do things and then telling the child that they asked for it, that they liked it, and wanted it. Using guilt to force the victim to submit to them.

The child is left with too much knowledge of hurt, rejection, sexual thoughts, sexual awareness, and confused by "what is love?" Certainly not the same untouched joyful child he or she was before they were molested. They are changed forever, and changed much more for the worse.