Violet.... I have been trying to "change" my attraction to children since I was a teenager. I have been to 4 counsellors and am still in therapy. I don't beleive it is ever OK to be sexual with a child (even though I'm attracted). I don't have any trouble controlling myself around children. The children in my life I care about very much and I protect them from sexual preditors.
I don't think, and nor does my counsellor (after 35 years of working with guys who want to change) that change of orientation is possible. I do believe that self-control is very accievable. I am no different from a straight man in that respect. A straight man doesn't act on every desire he has for women... I don't act on the desires I have for children.
Counselling has taught me how to mangage my desires better. I don't beleive that it can change them. If it could... if there was a magic change pill. I'd take it in an instant.
Llort... if the pedo's you've studdied are the ones who've been arrested for crimes against children then you only have looked at a small section of the Pedophile community. There are uncounted numbers of pedos who don't get caught doing anything criminal with kids... BECAUSE WE DON'T DO ANYTHING CRIMINAL WITH KIDS.
You are right Cat. Like a drug addict or a alcoholic, the pedophile is addicted to lusting after children.
I am glad that your seeking counseling. This is a good post by someone who is willing to to change their thoughts. Someone who is able to see through the blinders of lust, and able to stand against temptation hopefully.
There is a medication I read about Cat, maybe your therapist knows about, and you could try it?
A comment left from Dimitri
Your arguments have an assumptive attitude. They connect things that demonstrate difference as though the connection were direct and obvious. Take the assumption that a child who experiences sexual contact is molested, or that there are consequences. You assume the existence of consequences without giving supporting logic or information. The addition of some type of support to these assumptions to validate their existence would add credibility to your statements as arguments as opposed to simple rantings. Example, you say that there are consequences to a child being molested, then I say that there are no consequences to a child being molested (disregarding the definition of the term molest). You see how my statement effectively counters yours, yet provides no evidence? Thats because it mirrors your statement. It is a simple a = b scenario, and can be countered on the same grounds. Baseless claims, and insults, do not provide very persuasive reasoning.
This is I feel the crucial error in the way pedophilia is commonly perceived. It lies in the inability to draw lines, for to the average person all areas of sexual contact for children must be harmful. Taking into account the infinite variation we see in children with regards to their environment, biological capacity as far as brain development, and even a person's individual talents, the previous statement seems a little incredible. This demonstrates the second error, a lack of thought - for devoting even a minute amount of attention to the intricacies of this subject reveals many interesting quesions. Why is something that we consider joyous, given the bounds of consent, healthy, and infinitely varied, considered dangerous, traumatizing, and grossly narrow to a child? (keeping in mind the very minute difference as far as age that separates an adult from a child and that is - one day) To categorize a molester who rapes their victim, causing scarring, not only of the flesh, but of the heart, with a person who engages in a willing relationship, one that may go on for the rest of their lives, and loves that person, and is loved back, seems inaccurate at best, even to the most unscrutinizing individual. I would say that the difference between a pedophile and molester is the same difference between a rapist and lover. However, this difference is not ludicrous - why?
that is NOT true! Once the child is out of your age of attraction you are done with him and already found a replacement. You lust after children because they are children.